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  The other day I was listening to a podcast featuring Harvard professor and behavioral scientist Leslie John. She studies something called self-disclosure, which is simply the act of sharing things about ourselves with other people. Her research focuses on how those moments of sharing create closeness between people. As I listened, I found myself

Every so often, someone tells me they’ve known my name for years.  Sometimes they’ve been reading my blog. Sometimes they’ve followed my website. Sometimes they’ve simply known who I was long before we ever met. Every time it happens, I’m caught a little off guard.  I usually laugh and joke that it makes me feel

One of the strangest parts of working in sex work is that people often assume you’re not a serious person. They imagine someone who doesn’t think very far ahead, who floats from one good time to the next, and whose biggest concern is looking attractive. It’s an interesting stereotype because it couldn’t be further from

For the longest time, I thought work had to look a certain way. You woke up early. You put on professional clothes. You drove to an office. You sat under fluorescent lights. You counted the hours until lunch. Then you counted the hours until it was time to go home. That was simply what work

You know that joke people make? “If I die unexpectedly, delete my browser history.” For years, I assumed that was because people were hiding something scandalous. Then I became an adult. Now I just don’t want anyone to think I was losing my mind. If someone opened my search history without any context, they would

If someone who had never met you had to describe you in one sentence, what would they choose? Would they choose the day you became a parent? The years you spent caring for someone you loved? The career you built? The friend who could always be counted on? Or would they choose the biggest mistake

I’ve been thinking about something lately. Every now and then, I meet someone who seems stuck. It isn’t always obvious at first because they’re still living their life. They go to work, take care of their family, pay the bills, and do everything they’re supposed to do. But as the conversation unfolds, it becomes clear

Today being Father’s Day has me thinking about fathers from a perspective most people probably don’t expect.  People often reduce me to a single fact about my life. I’m a sex worker. For some, that’s all they need to know. The rest of who I am seems to disappear. They don’t see the woman who

When I first started this work, I expected not to learn much. It seemed pretty obvious what this was all about.  Turns out I was wrong.  I thought that, as a woman, I’d learn a lot about men. Alas, I was wrong again. (Turns out I’m wrong a lot.)  What I actually learned was a

It was just a Thursday. Nothing special happened. Nobody gave a speech. There wasn’t a grand goodbye or a dramatic ending.  At the time, it felt like any other Thursday.  Looking back, it wasn’t. Nobody tells you it’s the last time. If they did, we’d probably do things differently. We’d stay a little longer, pay